i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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