The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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