You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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