I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Randomize
