at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
