You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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