her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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