No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
