if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
