I'm drive I can fine osifer
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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