you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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