butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They have beer where we have blood.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
