I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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