Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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