my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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