Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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