so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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