that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
