It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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