I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
