I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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