I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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