So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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