Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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