She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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