just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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