called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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