Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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