Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
