in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
