I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
