my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
