would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
