i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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