it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
