I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
