i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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