if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize