Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
