Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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