Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize