end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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