Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
