2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
