i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
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