he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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