Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Randomize
