It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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