Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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