erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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