I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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