i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My vagina is very pro this idea
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
