I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
