On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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