Midget sex pt 2 tonight
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
