I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize