but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last night I used snow as a chaser
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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