Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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