i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
