i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
