I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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