I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize