This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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