I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We left an ass print on the piano.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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