Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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