Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
