My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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