I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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