Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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