You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
