well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
