So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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