I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize