i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
