I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
