He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
