bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
