I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
