Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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