saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come share oat with me in your robe
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
