i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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