If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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